this is actually one note from my facebook account so sana maenjoy nyo po and feel free to comment :D
First time ko lang po gagawin ito so I'd like to hear your thoughts...
sa mga tatag ko, pasensya na po kung naabala pa kayo for this, pero sana po you can
give me your honest thoughts, at sa mga hindi ko matatag, pasensya na po...
I am this person, the usual person with the usual everything. usual worries and some insecurities.
but to be honest, the only thing i know that links me to everybody else mostly likely would be the
imperfections of my own being.
it is the new year and everybody, well at least as far as my eyes could see, ended the year
with the usual fireworks and the good old fashion feast. the way that it usually is from where i grew
up. over the years things change but then that very fact somehow made me feel different. it would
almost if not always seem that i always feel that i am different than everybody else, something that
what public would call odd. however this was what made it more difficult since i cannot even find or
figure out no matter how hard i try what it really was.
then one day on a fine noon it hit me, this unsual clue that led to this unknown parallel unvierse inside
my own head. then i remembered why i so desperately wanted to be a perfect being through these
so called flashbacks. in that one instant i just temporarily remembered some people that i seemed to
have forgotten. those words and those eyes, even the tiny little smiles that always seem to hit when
you see them back then.
every memory would always be the same yet so different in a sense to what it should have been. the
faces of these people who became my history too seem to be reminding me, every single one of them
speaking to me in some what not sense. then i started talking to them only to realize i am just and was
talking to my own self and then i felt so puzzled.
one of these flashbacks was from a little girl that looked so very familiar with her charming little smile and
the way she giggles everytime she saw me, then i remembered it was my expression of confusion that
made other people think that i was so angry of the world and was too pessimistic when in realty it was
so much, to me, the other way around of it all. there was this thing that kept me puzzled but it didn't affect
may wanting to long for her kind words and that bright smile.
one of the things i remember she told me, along with that longing smile and giggle for laughs, was saying the
green stuff in my nose and how i looked too much of a kid to be puzzled. but then those very words meant so
very different than before. now it seems that everytime i close to think or try to slumber she speaks to me,
that kind softness that makes me feel ecstacy, when she says, hello again, then i would just say hi.
by now you must be wondering who is this young girl i keep telling you about over and over again, why the
emphasis? for that part i am so sorry because i too can;t seem to remember her name. everytime it always
seem to be just a dream that remains sealed deep down.
then i dreamed of her with the sun in the sky, there was something different this time, because
when i saw her the clouds became her eyes and the stars became her hair and it was blinding.
this time the message was too short to speak of and entire time that seemed to be eternity
but she said to me one important thing.
then there were so many quotes that flashed on my memory and i can't even remember why it all
came back to my senses. i was drowning into everything by taking too seriously. i forgot life has
other things other than what i can only reach for. there was something that bothered me all along.
i was trying to defy the nature given to me. perfectionist is not a term, vain is not the word,
arrogance is close but it's something else. it reminded me of the things that always seemed to
give me more power to do something but now it was really gone.
the sunset should have passed but it just came this time as if time was reversing itself. i gained
so much but at what cost did it come from? there were too much of what's going on. never have
i really realized that my being became different than how i was originally and before everything
else. people seem to take their time and don't like me because the reality is that it is easy for me
to adopt to something that seems to be jiburish to them. but then my hardness is everybody's
easy points. i am instantly different. and i seem to have been very boastful to you but in my
defense, the truth is that i did not intend to be so. this work is just a mind's myth and the pens
work. reality is very different than the optimistic is what it really was simply put.
however it dont mean that one should be pessimistic instead. it just means that we can't too
much of everything because we have limits. again and again it seemed i didnt get it because
without knowing it my smile seemed to have faded more and more over the days.
but then it came to me, at one sunday on the vacation time, though this print is half truth
and half myth, that morning was the maker, because it gave the answers i wanted for
and i smiled once more after a long time, just needed that 7am, the most satisfying,
nature's own morning breeze..
i hope you enjoyed reading this, and i am looking forward to your honest comments.
